I want you, A.V. Club. I want you bad.

Like Tina Fey says, I want to go to there.

Dear The A.V. Club,

When I saw your string of tweets on none other than Twitter, I knew that I’d find some gems. There’re always gems. It’s your job.
Ne’r did I expect this little spot of sunshine, though.

Hey, wanna work for @The_AV_Club? We have an entry-level copyeditor opening in Chicago. [link]

What is that, you say? Jobs for the masses? Count me in. I was in it like 90s me in those spectacular parachute pants. Hammer, my parents blame you for that phase. Please, contact them about Photoshopping some family pictures.

You see, I lost my job three weeks back, a job I had taken just to pay the bills after moving with my wife from Wyoming to Chicago. Six months in, I’m on my rear, out the door, and up the creek (not with my wife, just the crappy job).
This is, of course, an opportunity to get back to what I love, back on the career path I had started. Here I write in amongst the boxes of our new apartment hoping that you’ll look at the link included in my cover letter.
Maybe you’ll even remember my name. It’s not a difficult name to remember: Daniel Craig. Just so you know, that was my name way before the James Bond actor was ever famous.

If you have read any of this blog, loyal followers, then you know of my job search. Following my dear wife Megan across the country for her dream of reporting for the Chicago Tribune, I left my steady job. In Wyoming I worked as Online News Producer for the Casper Star-Tribune, Wyoming’s only state-wide news source. If you want a ridiculous stat, I can tell you that I raised online video views for Trib.com by 16,000-percent in my first quarter there. The previous guy must’ve not been very good, but I sure am. The oh-so-stressful but ever entertaining place gave me several more months of work through telecommuting, but, in the end, I was forced to find local employment.

Dearest A.V. Club, I have been let go. Sales fell too low to sustain the salary of an Excel monkey. And now this opportunity opens with you? OK, Universe, I’ll take that challenge.

The A.V. Club is one of the finest repositories in print or on the net for humor, yes, but also reviewing culture. To take culture with simple words and dismantle it so precisely continues to astound me whenever I happen to click your links or navigate your pages.

In the realm of the motion picture, no quarter is given. Ever. The reader only views brutal honesty so he can spend his dollar – or 12 – accordingly. The same goes for video games and music, lands in which you so frugally hand out A’s that some will never gaze upon them. Not on The A.V. Club anyway. Maybe if the reader heads over to Entertainment Weekly or some nonsense they’ll see that letter for this, that and whatever.

To be sure, any job would be a dream at this point. But working for you? That would be something else entirely. An honor, I’d say, to entertain and inform at the same time, to go beyond the traditional newspaper-plus-comics to a place that actually keeps people coming back because they just love to be there reading and enjoying.

Please, I hope you have clicked that link or – less likely – waded through the Google mess of the name Daniel Craig to find this post. Now you know me a little better. You know that I will give you 100% at work. I’d give you more, but, by definition, 100% is the most anyone can give.

Just let me know, OK? Maybe we can meet up later, A.V. Club, and cook up some pork chops. I’ve gotten really good at that lately, too, if you don’t want my writing skills. At least take my grilling skills.

Sincerely,

The Daniel Craig who applied for your job opening in Chicago